faith, illness, testimony

When You Feel Abandoned by God

A friend wrote and told me she felt that God had abandoned her, because she wasn’t good enough. 

Dear sweet friend, 

I have felt the way you’re describing so very many times. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. 

We are never good enough.

None of us.

God’s love is unconditional.

Unconditional love means we don’t have to meet any conditions to be loved. The foundation of the gospel is that we are not good enough. And yet we know that –even though we’re not able to be good enough– there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ!

He loves us anyway.

unconditional love

Many, many, many times I have felt that God abandoned me.

Once, about 5 years ago, I was so sick I could hardly walk. Someone threatened to turn me into Child Protective Services for the condition of my house and take my children away. This was before I knew about my illness and why I could hardly take care of myself, my home, or my family.

Over the course of the next week I cleaned my house while barely able to walk with the help of friends and family. People who should have supported me, turned on me. My husband stopped talking to me for almost a month. I actually thought he was going to leave me sick, penniless, and alone with two little boys.

I have never been more alone, more scared, more desperate, more broken. I have never felt more abandoned. I remember laying on the bathroom floor sobbing, with the shower and the bathroom fan on so the boys couldn’t hear how devastated I was.

This is what I learned from that situation: it isn’t about what I feel. It’s about what I choose to believe.

Romantic background with peonies. EPS 10

It is absolutely a choice to have faith in God –a God who loves me even though He knows that I’m imperfect. Believe me when I say you and I are not alone in feeling abandoned by God… Job, David, and even Jesus Himself felt abandoned by God.

But God was still there.


Sometimes God is silent. But that doesn’t mean He isn’t there.

For me, the situation I described was a refining fire that God used to purge me. He allows us all to endure trials to make us more like Him.

There’s an unseen cloud of witnesses cheering you on to the goal. God is there, and He is working even when you can’t see Him.

I promise. 



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