illness

Keeping Hope Alive: Why I Bought a Bike I’ll Probably Never Ride


I bought a bike a few months ago.

I’m not really sure why.

I mean, my friend was selling a used-in-decent condition bike, so it made sense.


But, I’m scared to try to ride it.


I’m pretty sure I have an as-yet-undiagnosed autoimmune disease that affects my muscles and bones.


I’m on a medication that’s helping with the pain, thankfully.


Between the pain, my dizziness from the thyroid disorder, and the weakness from my chronic anemia, I’ve had ongoing balance and strength problems.


I’ve twisted my ankle or pulled a ligament multiple times in the last 18 months.


So, needless to say, it’s probably not wise for me to even try to ride the bike.


Yet, I have it in my carport where I can see it every time I pull in the driveway.


Why?


Because I need hope.


As a teen, my family rode bikes together. My dad and brother liked long bike rides. It wasn’t my favorite thing, because I found it challenging.


And, that’s exactly why I bought that bike.


I have every intention of trying to get healthy again.


I want to get to the place where I can try to ride a bike again, where I can do something challenging again.


I may not ever be able to ride a bike again.


I’m honestly afraid of what would happen if I fell since even tripping or stepping down wrong has resulted in injury in the past.


But, I’m not willing to give up hope.


It’s kinda like that pair of pants or skirt that you kept in the back of the closet hoping you’d lose that weight after having a baby.


You know the pair I’m talking about. 


Don’t pretend you don’t.


That bike represents hope that one day I’ll be well enough to do all the things I once did.


I may never be able to ride it, but in the meantime, it represents something to work for, something to strive for.


No matter how sick we get we all need something to work toward.


Hope makes today a little more bearable.


Blessings,

Sarah Forbes


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