faith, marriage

Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 4

This is part 4 of our series on how we should interact with our husbands. See part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Here is a chart of biblical responsibilities for husbands and wives. It is worth mentioning that the husband actually has more God-given responsibilities/commands than the wife.  

This is particularly notable to me because of how often I hear pastors focus solely on the wife’s responsibilities.


Tomorrow, I will present a flowchart chart about dealing with our believing or unbelievers husbands.  

Sarah Forbes

For more information about how to interact with backslidden and unbelieving husbands and specifically about divorce and separation, see this post.

faith, marriage

Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 3

See part 1 and part 2 of our series.

This is the third part of our series about interacting with our husbands.

In the previous two posts, we discussed unbiblical views on submission and, also, how to address your husband if he is a believer.

Today, we are talking about dealing with abusive, unbelieving, or backslidden husbands.  

We are picking up where we left off yesterday, talking about bringing a husband who is in sin before the church.

I know more than one woman who was being physically abused and was sent back to her husband after seeking help at the church.

This infuriates me.

How dare we claim to be followers of God while sending women back to the person who may end up killing them!

That’s not what submission is about.

Submission, and all of marriage, is to be a reflection of Christ’s love toward us.

An abusive husband does nothing but taint Christianity and disgust those around us.

Even unbelievers know this is wrong. It is not a testimony to God’s love.

Continue reading “Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 3”

faith, marriage

Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 2

See part 1 of our series here

Yesterday, I said that how we interact with our husbands should be the same as how we interact with other Christians or unbelievers.  I also explained flaws in the extreme submission ideology, how it goes beyond what is actually scriptural.

So, what happens if my Christian husband is not fulfilling his biblical responsibilities toward me?

What if he’s not being loving?

Not showing difference?

Not being unconditionally loving? (Real, godly love is unconditional.)

Continue reading “Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 2”

faith, marriage

Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 1

Since today is my husband’s birthday, it seemed a fitting time to address how to interact with our husbands.

If you follow my blog, you know that I believe in submission –but I don’t believe as some people do that submission gives all the power to the man leaving the women hopeless and vulnerable (see this and this article which explains more about my position).

There are very few commands given to couples in scripture, and, while some pastors seem to like to preach in excess about the wife’s responsibilities, continually reminding women of their duty,  I think that the reason few verses are given about marriage is because the entire New Testament is a guideline for spousal interaction.

Let me explain what I mean.

When I first got married, I was told by other women that wives had a separate set of rules, that how they interacted with their husbands was completely different than how they were to interact with other Christians or unbelievers.

This never made sense to me.

Some authors, teachers, and local church members use submission as a method to basically make women into second class citizens.

Continue reading “Respectfully Disagreeing: Interacting with Your Husband When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Part 1”

faith, testimony

Your Character Is Showing: Maintaining a Testimony Online

Sometimes, when I am engaged in internet conversations, especially when another believer is attacking me for my beliefs, I feel like saying, “Your character is showing.”

In the last week, I have had multiple such experiences –this is interesting since I actually try to avoid online debates.

Some conversations have been godly and edifying.

Others… not so much.

How you handle a disagreement tells a lot about who you are as a person, as a Christian.

Do you attack the person who disagrees with you?

Do you take low blows, by insulting the other person rather than actually trying to help the person spiritually?

Are you more concerned about proving that you’re right than being loving and kind?

Continue reading “Your Character Is Showing: Maintaining a Testimony Online”

faith, hobbies, illness

Hobby Snobbery: Judging Other People’s Hobbies

I was an avid reader in high school.

If I wasn’t writing, I was reading. So much so, that I remember my father saying I needed to find a more productive hobby. He said I was spending too much time reading, lost in my own world and not enough time doing something in the real world.

He seemed happier when I took up drawing and drafting as it produced actual results and had marketable skills with more promise than being a published author (my goal in high school).

I did fulfill my goal, getting published at age 19.

Reading, to me, was equivalent to work study. I was studying how published authors used words because I wanted to be published, too.

At age 20, I got married, and we decided to start a family. The goal of writing was put on the back burner as babies and home management took priority. Along with writing, reading took a back seat.

Eventually, my autoimmune illness took over my life, and reading was no longer even a viable hobby.

I got to the point that I couldn’t read: I couldn’t bring words into my mind and follow ideas even across multiple paragraphs –let alone pages.

This made homeschooling hard for me, because I couldn’t read out loud either. Bringing words in my eyes and out my mouth didn’t work anymore.

Brain fog is really not fun.

Debilitated, weak, and struggling to walk, I turned to watching TV to pass the time. There’s a reason that there aren’t books in hospital rooms. A TV was just easier on my brain.

That’s when I started to really notice that people were snobs about their hobbies.

I was treated as less because I watched TV and movies instead of reading.

It didn’t matter what I was watching. It didn’t matter that I’m incredibly careful about what I watch.

It didn’t matter that some people read garbage that’s far worse than what I would ever consider watching on TV.

Continue reading “Hobby Snobbery: Judging Other People’s Hobbies”

faith, illness

Sacrifice of Praise: Praising God in the Hard Times

“Therefore let us… bear the reproach He endured….

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God,

that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”

Heb 13:13,15

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us,

a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Eph 5:1-2

Today, on Thanksgiving Day, we are focusing on what we’re thankful for.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good stuff in our lives, to count our blessings.

When things go our way.

When we have answered prayers.

When we have enough.

When everyone we love is safe, healthy, and near us.

But, we are called to give thanks in all things, to praise God regardless of what’s going on in our lives.

“Give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

He is God and worthy of our trust, thanksgiving, and admiration regardless of how we feel about momentary struggles we’re enduring right now.

“Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom.”

Psalm 145:3

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:9

So what about the unpleasant things?

This is where the concept of a sacrificial praise comes in.

Continue reading “Sacrifice of Praise: Praising God in the Hard Times”

children, faith

Do You Really Know Jesus?

I tend to assume that all my readers are believers.

I’m honestly not sure why I assumed that. I don’t even assume that about my husband, my children, and myself.

Scripture says that narrow is the road that leads to salvation and few there are who find it (Matthew 7:13-14). Additionally, it says not everyone who calls Jesus “Lord” (ie think they are saved) will actually enter Heaven (Matthew 7:21).

So, if I’m constantly checking myself to make sure my election and calling is sure (2 Peter 1:10) why would I automatically assume that you all are on the straight and narrow road?

I’m not sure why I made that assumption.

I even tell my children that only they know if they have truly put their faith in the saving work of Christ –He who was all God and all man, God born in human flesh, the only one who can save them from the fires of Hell and bring them to redemption.

Only they know if they are faking it or not.

Only time will tell if they continue to follow hard after Christ once they are out from under my roof.

Continue reading “Do You Really Know Jesus?”

faith, illness

Please Don’t Be Upset if I Don’t Come

My uncle got married when I was 7 years old.

I still remember the wedding reception. It was held at my grandparent’s turn-of-the-century home in the little community where I grew up. My mom made the cake, and I thought I was a big girl because she let me help. We took family pictures in front of the big fireplace in my grandparents living room. My cousins made trouble as usual, and there was laughter and love.

It’s a joyous memory.

As I got older, I wondered why my aunt didn’t come to family gatherings. Didn’t she like spending time with us?

It wasn’t until I was grown that I understood that she had very serious health problems.

Fast forward a few decades to multiple surgeries, multiple hospitalizations, and multiple diagnosis, and I rarely see her: family gatherings are just too stressful for her.

Before my illness, this completely baffled me. How could her family be stressful?

We loved her.

We supported her.

We wanted to see her.

But now… now, I understand.

Continue reading “Please Don’t Be Upset if I Don’t Come”

faith, illness

13 things I’ve Learned About Living with Anxiety

It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving.

For the last month, my family has been living part time at home and part time at a hotel 3 hours from our house while my husband is working there temporarily.

I came home this weekend relieved that we were finally home to stay, only to find that we’re going back next again week.

This weekend was already full: family in from Washington, my nieces birthday party, showing my parents house (which we actually own and are looking to sell). Then, packing and Thanksgiving next week too.

Additionally, it’s snowing in the mountains where we’re staying, and my car had decided it didn’t want to make heat anymore.

Then, my internal bleeding started again –no doubt triggered by all the stress.

When I found we were being sent back away from home, it was just all too much.

Everyone deals with stress differently, and everyone has a limit to what they can handle.

I, apparently, had reached mine.

Continue reading “13 things I’ve Learned About Living with Anxiety”