When other women find out I get up in the morning with my husband to make his breakfast and lunch, the first thing they say is, “Please don’t tell my husband. I have him convinced that women don’t do that anymore.”
I’m not saying this is the only way or even the right way. I’m just giving my reasons for getting up with my husband. You have to decide what is best for you.
We are not commanded in scripture to get up with our husbands, so this choice is entirely up to you. There’s no judgement from me either way. This falls into our Christian stewardship.
Reasons I get up with my husband in the morning:
- It gives us extra time, even 15 or 20 minutes (sometimes closer to an hour), alone to have kid-free conversations.
- It shows him that he’s important to me.
- It starts my day out putting a priority on my marriage.
- It reminds both of us that I’m his helper as scripture says.
- He knows it’s a sacrifice and that sacrifice shows him honor and reminds him of the depth of my love.
- It makes him look good to the guys at work whose wives don’t get up with them and make their lunch.
- It’s an opportunity for me to serve him and put his needs above my own –to be Jesus to him.
My husband, Scott, came home from work one day and said that the guys on his job site were jealous that I made his lunch for him. He said this with a smile of satisfaction and appreciation.
Apparently, he had told one of the men that I would even make a sandwich for someone else if Scott asked.
The guy didn’t believe him.
So Scott asked me, “Would you mind?”
I though “Would I mind that you’re showing me off to your guy friends, and they think you must be hot stuff because your wife is willing to go the extra mile for you? No, I don’t mind.”
I told him I’d be more than willing to make as many sandwiches as he wanted me to. He grinned with a twinkle in his eye, and I knew that I had just honored him.
I have gotten up with him even when I could barely walk, even when he had to be out the door at 2 AM. I often go back to bed after he leaves, because I need more sleep.
He never asked me to do this. This is how I choose to show my husband he’s important to me.
It’s just one of many ways.
When I’ve been really sick, he’s gotten himself ready to go without me. It’s sweet that he doesn’t want to bother me, but if I’m able I help him.
My mother has gotten up every day with my father for the last 40 years. I know that this has been a large influence on my choice.
I have one friend whose husband prefers that she not get up with him in the morning. She has such a hard time waking up at the time he needs to be awake. She burned her entire hand one time and narrowly missed chopping off her toes with a dropped knife another time while she was trying to help him get ready. After that, he decided that she was better off staying in bed.
On another job site, I was given the title “Scott’s Sweet Little Wife” (which I find sweet regardless of how it was intended) because I would bring him hot lunch or coffee.
Finding ways to honor our husbands and show them we love them is important. In our attitudes, words and actions, we can communicate that we value them.
Even if you don’t choose to get up with your husband, you can find other ways to honor him, to show him you value him and will go the extra mile –preferably without risking burning or dismembering body parts.
Figure out what works for you –just make it a priority. We want these relationships to still be healthy when the children start moving out.
However, I’m not going to lie to your husband and say that I don’t get up with my husband. If he asks, I’ll tell him the truth.