Ladies, if you went through yesterday –Valentine’s Day– without a gift, flowers, a card, or dinner out, if you feel ignored and unappreciated by your husband, I recommend reading on.
I have some experience with dealing with this issue. I have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about this topic.
For many years, I struggled with anger and frustration over this and many other issues, but the Lord has changed my heart.
Your husband is a flawed, sinful, imperfect human –just like my husband.
Just like me.
Just like you.
Here are some things that I have learned from my experience with relationship-related disappointments –which if we are honest we can admit that we all have.
Love believes the best in people.
That means that you should believe that your husband is doing his best unless you have concrete evidence that he was actually trying to be hurtful. See more about this in my article entitled “Love Believes in Others.”
We are commanded in scripture to be reasonable which means that you should try to not respond extremely and unreasonably –even if you feel emotional about this. For more on this topic you can see a previous post called “Did You Know That the Bible Instructs Us to Be Reasonable?”
Real love is unconditional. If you are not loving unconditionally, it isn’t really love. It is selfishness masquerading as love.
For more on this topic, see a previous post called “Are You a Good Representative of God’s Love?”
This post about unconditional love might also be helpful. It applies to far more than just homeschooling.
We have been sold a lie that somewhere out there is the perfect husband that will be the man of our dreams and make us happy all the time.
It’s a fallacious falsehood.
No such man exists.
If he did exist we would mess up his perfectness with our imperfections anyway.
Our hearts actually crave Jesus who is the only one who can fill the empty spaces in our soul. But even he wouldn’t live up to our expectations because we are selfish. For more about the perfect husband myth see this post.
Valentine’s Day is the day that we are taught we are owed something as proof that we are loved.
The truth is that no one owes us anything.
We were lied to.
We owe a debt of love that we can never fully pay. We owe it to Jesus, and it is payable to those around us.
But no one owes us anything.
To say we are owed something indicates that we are worthy of it.
If we are honest, we know that we are not worthy of anything but the fires of hell and certainly not life on this earth with the blessings and grace that God has given us.
I won’t even tell you to forgive him because that would indicate that he wronged you and that you were owed a gift. Rather, I recommend that you change your expectations.
We are called to be servants to those around us, not expect gifts and special treatments from other people.
If you want hope and peace in the midst of whatever happens, I recommend that you practice being thankful for what you have –which in addition to being commanded in scripture has the power to change your life and bring unshakable peace. I wrote here about how an attitude of thankfulness changed my life.
In my pledge to my readers, promised to tell you like it is even when it is not popular, and that is exactly what I have done.
I also wrote a post about 8 reasons I am okay with not getting a gift from my husband.