God’s Purpose for Marriage

Today’s post is about a quote from a sermon by Paul Washer. You can listen to the quote in a compilation video at the bottom of this post.

This video (and a few others) changed how I viewed marriage. I listened to this video over and over during a very hard time in my life and determined that I was going to follow my vows by choosing to love my husband no matter what situation we were in.

I would listen to it, cry, grieve what I wished we could have had, and surrender my marriage to God.

And then I would do it all again a little while later.

I decided that this video needed a post of it’s own so that I could refer back to it. Also, the best part of the video is in the middle, in my opinion. It is sometimes easier for someone to read a few paragraphs then to listen to a whole video.

I hope this will help others understand God’s plan for marriage as it has helped me.

I case it wasn’t clear, the following is a quote and not my original writing.

How would you ever learn unconditional love if you were married to someone who met all the conditions?…

How would you ever learn mercy, patience, longsuffering, heartfelt compassion if you were married to someone who never failed you?

Who was never difficult with you?

Who never sinned against you?

Who was never slow to acknowledge their sin or ask for forgiveness?  

How would you ever learn grace –to pour out your favor on someone who did not deserve it– if you were married to someone who was always deserving of all good things…

Listen to me.

The main purpose of marriage is that through your marriage you might be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.

Marriage, I believe, is the greatest instrument of sanctification.

You are married to a person who does not meet all the conditions so that you might learn unconditional love.

You are married to a person who needs mercy so that you learn to give it.

You are married to a person who does not deserve so that you learn to pour lavishly yourself out upon a person who does not respond appropriately.

And thus you become like the God you worship.

You see, you worship God for these things but you don’t want to give them to others.

You worship God for grace but demand that your wife live in such a way that she not be in need of it.

You worship God for unconditional love but you get mad at your own wife when she doesn’t meet the conditions.

–Paul Washer


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May our marriages reflect the love of Christ and be a testimony of His unconditional love to those around us.


Sarah Forbes


3 thoughts on “God’s Purpose for Marriage”

  1. I enjoyed reading this. I don’t have a difficult marriage. At least not like the home I gre up in. My husband and I are a good team. However, are their things I wished were different? Absolutely! This is a good reminder. Thanks for posting.

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