illness, marriage

He Still Loves Me

I was moody, assertive, and difficult.

He loved me anyway.

I suffered from postpartum psychosis.

He loved me anyway.

I had episodes of hoarding behavior

He loved me anyway.

I suffered for multiple bleeding disorders.

He loved me anyway.

I got so sick I couldn’t cook and clean.

He loved me anyway.

I went from a size 8 to a size 28.

He loved me anyway.

I couldn’t take care of our family.

He loved me anyway.

Because of my health people threatened to take our children away.

He loved me anyway.

I couldn’t wear makeup or jewelry or even my wedding band anymore.

He loved me anyway.

When I couldn’t walk, couldn’t drive, couldn’t even get out of bed some days.

He loved me anyway.

I used up every bit of extra money we had on medical bills.

He loved me anyway.

People said unkind things about me.

He defended me.

When I couldn’t hold it all together anymore, he just held me, told me it would be okay, and let me cry.

While other men criticized their wives for being late or forgetful or less than perfect, he has stood by me, encouraged me, held my hand, and hoped with me.

I could say more, but he’s a pretty private person, and I don’t want to embarrass him.

Many men walk away when their wives are diagnosed with serious health conditions.

Not my man.

He stood by me.

In a world where promises and vows are really only “until the love runs out,” he took his promise to love me seriously and has stood by me regardless of what’s happened.

It hasn’t been all sunshine and roses.

We’ve definitely had our bumps along the road.

But, again and again, he reminds me of why I love him more with each day.

I would choose to love him even if he wasn’t loving to me because I take my vows before God seriously.

There have been times when each of us has behaved much less than loving.

I’m not going to misrepresent it like we always have 100% marital bliss.

But, I’m also aware –especially from the stories I’ve heard in the autoimmune community– how often spouses don’t stay for the long haul.

Especially with mysterious illnesses and an uncertain future.

This post is about the men who do stay.

Like my husband.

The ones who love and support.


My husband calls it loyalty, honor, and responsibility.

I call it unconditional love.

And I’m by no means unaware of how rare that is.

Of how blessed I am.

With all the man-bashing that goes on in women’s circles,  it seemed like this needed to be said: there are kind, godly (albeit not perfect) men out there.

Sometimes, I sit and stare at him in awe that the Lord saw fit to give me that man.

I’m so thankful God brought us together.

I hope to live a long life holding his hand,  walking beside him, growing old, going gray, and rocking our grandchildren on our knees.

But, if I don’t –because the odds are rather against us– I’m going to spend the time I do have making sure he knows how much I love him and how very thankful I am for everything he is and does.

One thought amazes me: through it all, he still loves me.


Sarah Forbes


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